


12 Months of Falling In Love(All Over Again)

by MemoriesofAugust



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, I swear The Notebook doesn't have to do anything about this, M/M, Memory Loss, Some Fluff, WannaOnePrompts, additional tags for the next chapters, don't curse me, falling in love all over again, how to write angst?, hwangsung, i hope this wouldn't get too angsty, i'll try to add more fluffs in the next chapters, minsung - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-03-28 15:16:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13906752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MemoriesofAugust/pseuds/MemoriesofAugust
Summary: Hwang Minhyun suffers from a unique memory disease, where he forgets what happens every 8th of the month.A story where Minhyun finds himself literally falls in love with Yoon Jisung all over again.





	1. March

**Author's Note:**

> I am back with my first chaptered fic! Got the prompt(summary) from WannaOnePrompts in Twitter, so kindly blame the admin who posted that prompt for all the pain this fic might inflict. 
> 
> This if for my fellow hwangsung cultist, allsung cultist.

8th of March

_“Oppa, happy birthday!”_

Jisung smiled as he heard his sister shrieked from the other line. “Keep it down, Seulgi-ah. You might wake him up.” He glanced back at the sleeping man on the bed before heading out of the room.

“Are you drunk? It’s _my_ birthday but you’re the one who’s drunk?” he asked, an amused smile forming on his lips.

_“Of course not! Why do you always think I’m drunk everytime I call you? Anyway, are you gonna leave his apartment while he’s still asleep again?”_

Jisugng sighed, but the heaviness in his chest just got worse. “He’s definitely gonna freak out if he wakes up with a naked man beside him.”

_“Well, it’s as if he’ll not get confused if he finds himself naked without someone beside him. I still can’t understand why you have to act like a stranger everytime. I mean, you can just explain everything to him.”_

Jisung sighed again. He didn’t know why he kept doing that. It was supposed to relieve the heaviness in his heart, but everytime he sighed, the heaviness just worsen. He leaned on the bedroom door gently. “I… I can’t face him, you know. I can’t face him and the first thing he’ll say is ‘who are you?’. That’ll be too much for my heart to handle.”

_“Oppa… I’m sorry…”_

There was a solemn silence between them. Jisung could feel the tears starting to pour out. “It’s alright, Seulgi-ah. It’s not like it’s the first time.”

_“Let’s drink tonight! Let’s eat a lot of ramyeon and tteokbokki, and maybe even skewers. You’re treat, of course.”_

Jisung lightly chuckled. He was thankful it was his sister who greeted him today. “Sure, my treat. Let’s call in Daniel and the other boys. We need people to take us home, because we’ll definitely get wasted.”

He started walking towards the apartment door.

_“Tsk, Daniel will definitely get more wasted than us.”_

Jisung laughed as he gently closed the apartment door.

At the same time the guy woke up, but more than being confused on why he was naked, there was a nagging thought telling him that today was _special_ but he couldn’t remember what. And he couldn’t remember whose room he was. Or what happened last night. Or what year it was. He started to panic. He couldn’t even remember his own name. He clutched at the blanket covering his body, his breathing was getting faster in panic.

_Why can’t I remember anything?_ _What should I do?_

He started to look at his surroundings. Despite not having memories, he could feel comfort and familiarity in this room. There was a high possibility that this was his own room. He looked on the bedside table. There were two picture frames on it. One with a handsome man, that he _felt_ was him, and the other one with who he thought would be his family. He felt that something was not right, though. He lingered looking at the pictures. There was something missing about them. Like there should be a third picture frame. His head ached from too much thinking. He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again, he noticed a piece of paper on the bedside table. He reached for it and read it.

 

_Minhyun-ah, this is your mother, I know you’ll be confused and panicking when you wake up today, that’s why eomma’s writing this the night before. I want you to take deep breaths. Your name is Hwang Minhyun, you’re twenty-four years old. Today is March 8. The year now is 2018. You’re probably inside your room in your apartment. You… You live… alone. You have an older sister. I know you have a lot of questions, that’s why we are visiting you when you’re ready. Give us a call, the passcode of your phone is your birthday, August 9. There’s food inside your fridge, please eat breakfast. We love you, son. I hope what your mind forgets, your heart remembers._

The paper got stained with tears. Minhyund didn’t realize he was crying. He believed it. His heart knew that the things written on the paper were all true. It just felt sad, and frustrating why couldn’t he remember anything. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. When he felt a little calm, he reached out for the phone that was on the bedside table as well. Mihyung was thinking that this memory loss was happening frequently because, clearly, his family knew what to do. He typed in the passcode to unlock his phone but he might have keyed in a wrong number. He tried again but failed. With a knot on his forehead, he read the letter again.

_August 9_. The knot on his forehead worsened. It wasn’t March 8? He tried the passcode and August 9 worked. But the knot on his forehead never left. Why did it feel wrong? Why did it feel like it was supposed to be March 8? He looked at the wallpaper on the phone. It was a picture of a boy wearing a what looked like a taekwondo uniform. The boy looked like a younger version of him. But there was also something wrong about it. He fiddled with the phone, went straight to the gallery. It was full of his selcas, pictures of his family, pictures with some guys who were maybe his friends, and more Instagram-worthy pictures. The feeling of something missing was there again. He carefully looked at the picture with his friends. A part of him was subsconciously looking for another face that was supposed to be filling his phone’s gallery. He closed his eyes as his headache got worse. He breathe a few times and slowly opened his eyes. First things first, he needed to get up and get dressed. As he stood up from the bed, he saw his clothes littering the floor, making him remember that he was naked. Why was he naked again? He wiggled his head sideways.

_It’s not the most important thing right now._ Yet, something inside him was telling him that it was something essensial in his life. What his mind forgot his body remembered, as he went straight to the bathroom just inside his room. He took a shower, subconciously hoping the cold water would help him remember _everything_.

* * *

 

“HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY TO JISUNG-HYUNG!” Daniel’s deep voice filled the samgyupsal restaurant, making the other customers turn in their direction.

Jisung apologetically smiled at them. “Daniel, keep your voice down. We haven’t even started the soju, yet you act like you’re already drunk.”

Daniel just giggled. “Sorry, hyung. But this is a happy day! You should be the happiest today. We will make you the happiest today.”

Jisung’s heart melted. He gave his friends an appreciative smile, as they gave him loving smiles.

“Okay, let’s start the soju!” his sister declared, which made his friends excited. Jisung just shook his head.

“To Jisung-oppa’s happiness!”

“To Jisung- _oppa’s_ happiness!”

A boisterous laughter accompanied their group’s toast. The whole night was spent in nonstop eating and drinking. Jisung didn’t usually gets himself wasted, but he decided that tonight was the perfect time to get wasted. It would feel good to forget for a while too. And so he got wasted, and forgot the pain that accompanied this supposedly happy day for him.

* * *

“Let’s eat samgyupsal,” Minhyun offered to his mother and older sister as they approach a samyupsal restaurant.

“Uhm, I… think I like Chinese food tonight,” his mother said. He noticed the uncertainty in her voice.

“Okay, but I’m actually craving for samgyupsal,” he said in a low voice which was still heard by his companions.

“Let’s have it next time, okay, Minhyunnie?” his sister smiled reassuringly.

Minhyun was still reluctant but didn’t have the heart to push so he just nodded. Before they started walking past the samgyupsal restaurant, they heard a little commotion as a group of people went out from the restaurant. Minhyun eyed them.

“Hyung, be careful,” a guy with wide shoulders said as he and the other guys supported another guy with a smaller frame.

“I’m _owkay_ ,” the smaller guy said in a slurred voice, walking in criss-crossed footsteps. Minhyun could see the drunk guy’s profile as he was facing his friends so he didn’t notice someone was standing in front of him and bumped to his chest. Minhyun’s hand automatically held the guy’s shoulder to support him.

It was also just then the guy’s friends noticed him. Their eyes were all eyeing the guy earlier, so they never noticed his presence. Now, all eyes were on Minhyun. They were all wide, as if in shock of seeing him.

“Minhhyun,” he heard his mother’s careful voice. “Is there a problem?”

“Oppsh! Shorry,” the drunk guy’s voice seemed to wake his friends as they slowly detached the guy from his arms.

“Sorry, Mr. Our friend is a little drunk,” one of the guy’s---not the wide-shouldered one---friend said.

“I… I could see,” Minhyun said, but his eyes were focused on the drunk guy. Truth be hold, he was reluctant to let him go. When he held him, and saw his face up close, he felt a strong emotion surged in his heart. For the first time that day, something felt _right_. Like this guy belonged in his arms.

“You,” the drunk guy squinted his eyes at Minhyun. “You look like someone I know.”

He turned to his friends. “Guysh, he looks like someone we know, right?” he looked back at him. “You look like my Min---”

“Oppa, let’s go home, please,” the only girl in the group, who was probably his sister, pleaded.

“But, he really looks like my Min---”

“We’ll go ahead. I’m sorry for this commotion,” the girl apologetically bowed at them.

“Uhm, no, it’s okay. No harm done,” Minhyun’s mother said.

The group walked past them, protectively holding onto the drunk guy. Minhyun followed them with their gazes.

“Minhyun, let’s go?” he heard his sister’s voice. He reluctantly looked turned to her. “Uh, yes, we should.”

The three of them ate at a Chinese restaurant, trying to engage him in a conversation by telling stories about his childhood, and underlying motive of not letting him ask a particular question involving the commotion a while ago. But Minhyun could feel that they were agitated. There was tension in the air a while ago. But most importantly, he wanted to see that guy again.

 

* * *

 

 

15th of March

It was on this day that Mingyun found Jisung, the drunk guy, again. The guy was working in a bookstore. After that night, Minhyun could’t take the guy’s face, and the feelings he felt, off his mind. He could still feel his soft arms when he held him then. He purposefully passed by that samgyupsal restaurant after that, hoping he would see him again. But, of course, that  was posible as the apperance of a blue moon. He never stopped hoping though. He wandered around the area, eating at different restaurants, most of the times bringing his camera to take pictures of the surroundings. His mother told him he was a photographer, anyway. He wasn’t in luck of seeing the person he wanted--- _needed_ \---to see, until this day.

“Sir, how may I help you?” Jisung’s---it said so in his nametag---question broke him from his trance that was his eyes.

“Uh… Uhm… I’m trying to find a new book to read?” Minhyun flashed him an uncertain smile, while rubbing the back of his neck.

Jisung nodded and smiled in understanding. And Minhyun lost it again. Jisung was more beautiful smiling. Heck, Minhyun thought everything about this guy was beautiful. He felt his heart filling with so much emotions he didn’t know was normal to feel for a person he just met---saw---in two days.

_It feels like I know him for a long time, though._ There was also this urge to snake his arms around the guy’s waist and pull him closer to him, and kissed the daylight of him.

_Now, that’s a scary thought, Minhyun! You’re being a little scary._ But it felt like the right thing to do. There was a faraway voice in his mind that was telling him it was an usual thing to do.

“What kind of books do you prefer, Sir?”

“Uhm…” was the only thing he could answer. He really didn’t know what he preferred in a book. He just looked reluctantly at Jisung. The guy must be really an angel for his smile nevel left his beautiful lips---the thought of kissing them was still in his mind.

“Perhaps, political books? Or novels about history? Or poetry?”

Minhyun felt a liking to all said books. “I’ll take poetry,” he said with a sure smile this time.

Jisung led him to the poetry sections, recommending unfamiliar titles. Minhyun was a little surpised he actually knew some books as they scanned the shelves. One book caught his attention.

“Oh, _The Poetry of Love_ by Sammantha Cullenson. A collection of her love experiences. All of them one-sided. Love stories where her love never get returned, not even once. Sounds pretty depressing, but she wrote about love like it’s still a wonderful thing. It’s actually a pretty good book. But it’s a little underrated. What with everyone is hyping about Lang Leave. I mean, Lang Leave is the real deal. But most of the people hyping her books suddenly act like poetry lovers and geniuses, while, in fact, the only poetry book they ever read are her books.”

Minhyun was looking at Jisung now in amusement. A comfortable feeling settled in his system as he listened to his opinions. According to his friends that he had met a few days back, he was the quiet type. Sitting on the sidelines reading books, or just listening to other people talking. They said he actually preffered a quiet and peaceful environment. He sometimes got annoyed if they are being noisier and more talkative.

Jisung seemed the type to talk a lot, but Minhyun didn’t mind. In fact, he liked listening to his voice. He could even listen to him forever. God, he was whipped. He chuckled, which made Jisung stopped in his stories.

“My apologies, Sir. Got a little carried away,” he smiled at him reluctantly.

“No, it’s fine. You’re a good persuader. Makes me want to buy these Lang Leave books now,” Minhyun said, smiling.

“You’ve actually read them, though.”

Jisung whispered something, but Minhyun didn’t catch it. “Yes?”

Jisung just flashed him a smile. “Nothing. Decided on a book, or books to purchase, Sir?”

He looked at the Sammantha Cullenson book he was holding. “Yes, I’ll get this.”

“How about the Lang Leave books?”

“Nah, maybe next time.” _So I have a reason to see you here again._

“Follow me to the counter then, Sir.”

He followed Jisung to the counter.

“Uhm, Jisung-ssi?” Jisung stiffened a little when he called his name, but he actually didn’t notice.

“Yes, Sir?”

“Uhm, what time does your shift end?” It was just a spurr of the moment, but Minhyun asked anyway. Who knew when would he see him again, really. He was afraid he would wake not remembering anything again so he had to be brave now.

“I’m sorry?” Jisung was looking at him with a slight shocked expression.

“Can we have coffee after your shift?” Jisung raised and amused eyebrow. He was probably thinking that he was being too fast. He didn’t answer immediately, and it was making Minhyun nervous. His embarrasment was slowly eating him second by second.

“Seven,” Jisung answered after a minute. “I’ll be free at around seven in the evening.”

Minhyun’s face brightened in happiness. “Great! I’ll fetch you by then. Oh, and my name is Minhyun. I’ll see you tonight.”

He walked out of the bookstore with light steps, and feeling like a school boy who finally got noticed by his crush.

“I know… _Minhyun_. I know your name,” Jisung whispered as he watched him walking away with a wide smile.

* * *

 

True to his words, Minhyun was back at the bookstore by seven in the evening. He was flashing that dashing smile at Jisung as he the othe walked towards him.

“Right on time, as usual,” Jisung had said before approaching the guy.

“If I’m not aware that he actually doesn’t remember you, I would never think that you’re actually a stranger to him. Look at his smile and his sparkling eyes, he spells whipped, hyung!” Sungwoon, one of his staff whispered to him.

“He’s really bound to always fall in love with you.”

Jisung smiled at that. But his smile didn’t reach his eyes like the usual. The statement bit him, though he knew Sungwoon actually meant good. But it was just bittersweet for him. Minhyun falling in love with him every month, and forgetting about him as well.

“Enjoy your date, hyung.”

Jisung walked towards Minhyun with a practiced smile. He noticed the way Minhyun held himself from reaching his arms towards him, and maybe put them around Jisung’s shoulders along with a peck on the lips, one of the way how he greeted him everytime he fetched him from the bookstore. Jisung didn’t know what to feel about knowing that Minhyun’s body actually remembered the things it usually did.

They walked out of the bookstore and onto the busy streets in silence. Jisung could feel the urge from Minhyun to hold his hand. He kept his hands inside his jacket’s pocket. They reached a coffeeshop, and he smiled bitterly when he recognized it to be the coffeeshop where they had their first date.

“What would you want?”

“Is it too early for coffee? Shouldn’t we eat dinner first?” Jisung asked instead.

Minhyun’s excited smile never left his lips. “Oh, they served pastas here. And they are superb. Could make you full as much as rice meals would.”

_I know_. Jisung was actually the one who suggested Minhyun this place. He’d been living off the café’s coffee and food when he was in college.

“Is that so? I’ll trust you with the pasta, then. I’ll have Vanilla Latte for coffee,” Jisung smiled at him in indulgence. Just how he always would.

“Great, I’ll order now. Just relax here, okay?”

Jisung smiled at him, softly, this time. No matter how heartbreaking was their situation right now, it wouldn’t change his feelings for him. Like how Minhyun seemed to have the same feelings as well despite forgetting him. Well, he hoped so. Jisung was actually afraid, every month, that there would come a time that Minhyun would actually fall in love with someone else.

Minhyun’s memory disease was on its second year now. And their fourth anniversary would be next month. Jisung was actually aware of his illness, Minhyun had been honest with him since they met and were just friends. He said it ran in the family, there was no escaping it. It would consume him in the future. Every one around them witnessed how they actually tried not to succumb to their feelings for each other, but they took the risk in the end. They were happy for the first two years together, making memories that he could tell to Minhyun once he started forgetting. Until the symptomps started one by one and on the day of his birthday, he woke up to a hysterical Minhyun, sobbing, looking at him like a lost child.

The first two months were the hardest. As they weren’t actually prepared for the illness to come at an early time, unlike his mother who still had a sharper memory. They tried to tell him the truth, about everything he forgot, but the information was a lot for Minhyun to take. So Jisung decided to be a stranger for Minhyun every month. But for some reason, Minhyun always fell in love with him.

Jisung couldn’t be worried if that was  the case, right? He still couldn’t help it. It was still early to be relieved, and he wasn’t actually telling anyone, but he was readying himself in case the worst thing happened. That was why he started this strangers-again script.

“Jisung-ssi, here’s your coffee.” Minhyun came back with their oders. Jisung could smell the freshly-cooked pasta and it made his stomach growled, which Minhyun heard.

“Sorry, you’re right. The pasta smelled like it’s superb,” he said with an apologetic smile.

Minhyun just chuckled. “It fine. Even the sound of your growling stomach is cute.”

Jisung raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t we getting too fast, Minhyun-ssi?”

The guy had a sheepish grin. “Like I could deny it, right?”

“Yeah, you’re pretty obvious, even my staff noticed how whipped you are,” Jisung gave him a teasing smile, which turned into a laugh when he saw his reddening ears.

“Your staff?” Minhyun asked to prevent the conversation about his ears.

“Ah, yes. I actually own that bookstore.”

Both of the started on their pasta. “Hmmm, you’re not lying about the pasta,” Jisung commented. He actually perfected this stranger act.

“I won’t lie about food, Jisung,” at this, Jisung stopped twirling his fork. The way Minhyun said his name without the formality was familiar. Like the way he always said his name before his illness erased that. It gave an illusion to him that this was just one of their usual dates after his work. An illusion that they were a normal couple. An illusion that Minhyun didn’t have a memory disease that made him forget the two years of their relationship.

It felt wonderful. He could feel the surge of emotions. _No, don’t cry right now. You can do this, okay._ He breathed and braved looking up at Minhyun.

“As much as I believe that the food path is the best path, don’t be too confident that I’m an easy guy just yet,” he narrowed his eyes in an attempt to intimidate him.

Minhyun just smiled knowingly. His eyes sparkling like how they usually sparkled for Jisung. Jisung felt a lump forming in his throat.

“Of course, I’ve pretty much memorized and ate in a lot of restaurants around here. I’d take that as my chances of winning your heart.”

Jisung almost choked on his coffee. Minhyun, even with his memory loss, was still a smooth talker.

_You already won my heart, you dumbass._

 

* * *

 

 

31st of March

Minhyun brought Jisung to his hometown. They stopped by the beach around afternoon.

“I have doubts about this. I’m having thought of coming back to the city now.” Jisung narrowed his eyes. Then his expression morphed into mocked mortification, and wrapped his own arms around him in protection. “What are you trying to do to me?”

Minhyun just laughed at him, knowing that he was just joking. “Don’t worry, my intentions are clear. I’ll be a perfect gentleman all the way.”

Jisung, knew this of course. “Yeah, actually took you six months to even _touch_ me.”

“You’re saying something?”

“Nothing, you’re hearing the breeze.”

They started walking along the shore. Letting the waves touched their bare feet.

“Have you been here before?” Minhyun asked after a while.

“Yeah, someone took me here more than a couple of times,” Jisung answered and watched Minhyun’s reaction. He saw the movement of his adam’s apple as he swallowed.

“S-someone?”

Jisung smiled inwardly as he saw the insecurity forming in his eyes. “Yeah, someone I dated before. An ex-boyfriend. My _first love_.”

He didn’t have the bittersweet feelings by this time. He just loved teasing Minhyun, memory loss or not. The guy had been constanly taking him to dates in different restaurants around the small city, as he promised on their _first_ date in the café. And just like when they just really started dating, Minhyun was able to charm his way to his bitter heart, melting all his worries.

“Uhm, right, you ex-boyfriend. You first love. Of course, you’ve dated before. How stupid of me. Of course, someone had already notice your beauty aside from me.”

Jisung couldn’t help the grin spreading on his face. Minhyun was babbling, and he was cute. He wanted to cuddle him.

“Are we getting jealous here, Mr. Hwang?” he continued teasing him.

“Well, you loved him first, of course I’m jealous.” Minhyun pouted like a kid. Jisung laughed at this. Pouty Minhyun was one of his favorites. Well, everything about Minhyun was his favorite. He didn’t even know he was actually talking about him.

“Come here, Minhyun,” he pulled Minhyun closer to him. He wound his arms around his neck. “Don’t pout, I’m weak to that.”

Minhyun pouted even more. “Aw, you’re really cute. What should I do about that pouty lips?”

Jisung could see the shadow of the sun slowly coming down to meet the sea.

“Kiss them, maybe?” Minhyun suggested.

He was actually about to do that. But he still held for a moment. “Hmm… Let’s wait for the sun set first, okay?”

Minhyun growled. “Hyung, you’re going to kill me!”

Jisung chuckled and pushed the back of his head towards his, smiling lips meeting smiling lips. Kissing Minhyun was always a perfect bliss. The kiss got deeper as the sun set down deeper into the sea. Both of them didn’t mind drowing into eah other.

“I love you,” Minhyun whispered in a deep voice, full of emotion, which brought tiny tears in the corners of Jisung’s eyes.

“You’re really fast, do you know that?” he said as a tear or two escaped from his eyes. “I’m overwhelmed.”

Minhyun kissed the tears away. “You don’t have to respond now, you know. I can wait.”

Jisung wasn’t sure about that. Because as far as what he knew, he didn’t have much time to wait. “Minhyun, I let you kiss me already. Should I still play hard to get?”

Minhyun laughed softly at that. Jiusng carressed his smooth cheeks as he looked straight in his eyes. “I love you, too, actually.”

He also made sure that Minhyun could read his emotions in his eyes as well. “The restaurant dates helped a lot. You’re lucky.”

Minhyun laughed again. “You really talk too much, hyung.”

“Really? Shut me up then?” he challenged, and MInhyun complied with another searing kiss as stars started to litter the darkening sky one by one.

 

* * *

 

 

7th of April

“Thank you for tonight, Transformers is… _Very romantic_.”

Minhyun gave a hearty laugh at what Jisung said as they stood in front of Jisung’s door.

“So, do you want to watch Avengers next time?” he asked in a teasing voice, which earned an eye-roll from Jisung.

“You think you can get rid of me because of that?” Jisung wiggled his pointing finger at him. “I withstand the eight Harry Potter movies, and its seven books, Minhyun. I’m no easy guy.”

Minhyun lazily put his arms around Jisung’s tiny waist and gently lean him against the door. “Who says I wanna get rid of you? I intend to keep you forever.”

Jisung was looking intently at him. “But there’s no forever, Minhyun.”

“Then I’ll make one. _You_ can’t get rid of me. Never,” he punctuated the last word with a deep kiss, sealing his vow. Even with just seven days of dating, he knew he wouldn’t love anyone as much as he loved Jisung now. He couldn’t see any alternate universe where he wasn’t in love with him.

He pulled apart from Jisung when he tasted something salty from his mouth. Jisung was crying. And it pained him more than waking up with no memories.

“Why are you crying?” He gently wiped off the tears that seemed to just continue seeping from his eyes.

“I’m-I’m just h-happy, Minhyun. I’m happy that you’re with me right now. That you’re holding me, kissing me, loving me. God, I love you so much, you don’t know how much---” Minhyun kissed him again. It was open-mouthed, deep, wet, and full of emotion that words couldn’t describe.

“I love you so much. From the moon to the stars, and back here. Thank you for coming into my life,” he said in between heavy breaths. Their lips were still a thread close to each other.

“I’ll keep coming into your life, Minhyun. I’m telling you,” Jisung whispered.

“Promise?”

“It’s a _threat_ , Mr. Hwang.”

Minhyun grinned. “I love threats. I love you!”

They kissed again. Sealing promises--- _threats_ \---that either will be kept or be broken once Minhyun woke up the following day.


	2. April

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You've always love him no matter how many times you forget."
> 
> \- Kang Daniel to Minhyun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cheers to more pain. I love y'all.

  
8th of April

  
Minhyun woke up in a panic when he realized he didn’t know where he was, what was he doing there, or who he was. He started to scream. A woman barged in the room, and was already beside him.

“Shh, Minhyun-ah, Mama’s here, okay,” the woman said as he was enveloped in her warm hug. Her soothing voice calming his heart. The woman’s warm touch subsiding his panic.

“Are you okay, now, Minhyun-ah?” she asked after sometime of just caressing his hair and humming. Minhyun carefully entangles himself from the woman. “A-a little bit,” he croaked.

The woman, his mother, looked softly at him, holding his hands.

“You’ll be alright, my son. We’re here for you, okay? Don’t be scared,” she said, soothingly, as he parted his fringes that got a little wet from perspiration  
.  
His mind couldn’t recognize the woman in front of him no matter how hard he thought, but the way his body felt comfortable to her touch told him she wasn’t lying.

“Fix yourself. I prepared breakfast. Your sister is also outside.”

He stared at the door after his mother went out of his room. Despite the panic he felt, he was able to notice that she stayed calm and collectd through the whole ordeal.

Mothers are made to be stronger, emotionally, he guessed. He drew a deep breath and fixed himself through weak limbs.

Minhyun was suffering from a memory disease where he forgot everything every month, a cross between Alzheimer’s Disease and Retrogade amnesia. According to his mother, Alzheimer’s came from her side of the family, so it was really expected that he would eventually suffer from it. What they didn’t expect was for him to experience it a rather earlier age. He’d been in this situation for two years. He was thankful for his family who was always there for support and to supply all his forgotten memories.

“If you think you’re comfortable enough, you can talk with your friends. They’d be happy to remind you of all your embarrassing memories since high school,” his sister teasingly suggested.

Minhyun just smiled in appreciation. Yes, he should do that soon. They might tell more things about him that he felt he needed to remember.

“Uhm… “ he started tentatively. “Is there… Do I have… Am I… With someone?”

His mother and sister looked at each other. There were panic and hesistation in their eyes, as if asking each other who would tell him the truth, or if they should tell the truth.

His mother answered him. “No, Minhyun-ah. You, you’re not with… Anyone.”

He didn’t miss how the last word was uttered in a quieter tone. And he didn’t miss the feeling of disbelief, the feeling of among all the truths they told him so far, this one was a lie.

  
11th of April

“Waiting for someone?” Jisung was a little startled when Sungwoon talked beside him. He just sighed and smiled tiredly at his friend.

Sungwoon tapped his shoulder. “He’ll come sooner or later, hyung. He alwas has. No matter how late, he always finds you.”

He smiled, this time a little sad. “Thank you, Sungwoon-ah.”

“Oh, Daniel’s here again,” Sungwoon acknowledged the person who just entered the bookstore. Jisung smiled as Daniel approached them.

“Good, take this old man out. He’s been sulking the whole day again. Business is getting a little bad.”

“Hey, I own this bookstore! The disrespect!” the two men just laughed at him.

“Just go, hyung. Unwind, walk your big puppy.”

“Hey, hyung!” Daniel whined like the big puppy he was. Jisung couldn’t help but ruffle his hair.

“Let’s go, Niel-ah, I’ll treat you dinner.”

“No, hyung, I’ll treat you this time.” Daniel’s eyes were shining and if he was really a big puppy, Jisung was sure his tail was wagging excitedly at that moment.

He smiled at the younger fondly. “Sure, Niel-ah.”

Daniel excitedly held his hand and pulled him out of the bookstore. Just when the two disappeared from Sungwoon’s sight, a familiar figure entered the bookstore. He smirked as the guy automatically went straight to the poetry section. He observed the guy. There was a confused knot on his forehead. Sungwoon was not a mind reader, but he could tell that the guy was definitely thinking how the hell he knew where the poetry books were, as if he’d been frequenting the store since it was built, as if he was a part of it, as if his feet had a mind of their own.  
This was when Sungwoon concluded that the mind could forget, but the body and heart never did.

Minhyun was walking a little mindlessly through the dim street lights. He just met with his so-called friends in the afternoon, and just like what his sister said, they were more than happy to fill in some---all---of his embarassing memories. It was fun, and he found himself comfortable in their company. However, there was still a feeling of something lacking in their stories. He felt like they were missing some very important detail, or rather, they were missing that important detail on purpose.

This memory loss sucks.

There was a couple acrross him. The three of them stopped on their tracks, eyes locking with each other. The word couple didn’t settle good in his system. It sounded wrong in his mind. It felt wrong. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the shorter guy.

“Hyung, let’s go,” the taller one with a broad shoulder said, reaching for the shorter’s hand.

Minhyun’s forehead knotted at that. That big guy was not supposed to hold the other’s hand in front of him. Anger started riling up his system, his whole being screamed protest. The shorter guy’s other hand held on to the broad-shouldered arm as if drawing strength, and he noticed how the clasped hand gripped the other’s tighter.

Minhyun felt his heart being squeezed. The whole situation didn’t make sense to him.

“Y-yes, Niel, let’s go.”

The shorter of the two withrew his look from him and they started walking passed him. His arm seemed to have a mind of its own for it automatically gripped on the guy’s arm to stop them. He felt him stiffen at his hold.

“Excuse me, mister? What do you want?” the bigger guy asked, irritation and protectiveness dripping from his tone.

“I… I’m sorry,” he reluctantly let go of the other guy’s arm. “I…”

I don’t know why I did that too, he wanted to say but it sounded dumb.

“I’m sorry, but, do-do we know each other?” he asked the shorter guy. The guy didn’t answer, so he asked him again.

“Please, mister, you’re making my friend uncomfortable.”

“No,” the guy said softly, but he was still able to hear it. “N-no, I don’t know you. I’m sorry.”

A lie, Minhyun though. He tried to capture the guy’s look, but he was stubborn to meet his eyes. What he got was just the guy gripped his companion’s arm tighter, a silent plea of taking him away from here. His heart ached at the scene.

“I, yeah, I’m sorry,” was all he could say. He never tore his gaze away from the couple---no, they were not a couple, Minhyun---until he could see them anymore.

I’ll find you. I’m going to find you, he promised. He would make sure the guy would know him this time.

  
30th of April

Minhyun woke up with a pounding headache in a hospital, a worried face hovering above him, and worried whispers of his name.

“Minhyun, oh my God, are you awake?”

Despite the headache, he could recognize the face. He tried to sit up but the little movement made him dizzy.

“Don’t move yet, the nurse is coming.”

He stared at the guy. “I thought you don’t know me?”

The guy stiffened, his eyes were widening in panic. “I… don’t.”

He chuckled at the obvious denial. The nurse came in before he could point that out.

“So, can I have your name now? Since you already know mine?” he risked asking when it was just the two of them again.

“Uhm, Ji—Jisung. Yoon Jisung,” he uttered while fumbling at the ends of his jacket.. He wasn’t looking at him.

“Nice name, so why did you deny it?”

“What?” the guy managed to look at him.

“Knowing me, why did you say you don’t know me that night?”

He just looked at him in disbelief for a while. “You remember that,” he uttered. His eyes widened again when he realized he might had said what was supposed to just in his mind.

“Honestly, I couldn’t get that out of my mind. It was unsettling. The sight of you in another man’s arms was unsettling.”

The guy, Jisung, gulped at what he said. He smirked. “So, why did you say you didn’t know me?”

“I…” Jisung guped, tearing his gaze away again. “I still don’t know you.  
“Really? I just heard you saying my name when I woke up.”

“I didn’t. You’re just hallucinating.”

“I have memory loss,” at this, Jisung looked back at him, his eyes meeting his. “But I’m not hallucinating.”

Jisung was at a loss for words. So Minhyun continued. “There are a lot of things that I don’t remember. So please be honest with me, do we know each other? Because I can feel it. You’re someone that I need to know. What are you in my life?”

Minhyun could see a burst of emotion passing through Jisung’s eyes, forming tears at the corners. But before he could say anything, someone beat him into answering.

“He’s your boyfriend, asshole.” Leaning on the door was the same guy Jisung was with the other night. “He’s your boyfriend that you keep on forgetting.”

“Daniel!”

“What, hyung? He heard you saying his name, no point of denying it anymore. Besided, I can’t bear to see you acting like a stranger when you clearly want to touch him every time. So, might as well tell him the truth.”

The Daniel guy looked at Minhyun directly. His stare was serious and determined, but he could see resentmen in them. He walked towards his bed. Jisung held his friend’s hand.

“Daniel, please,” Jisung pleaded.

“No, hyung. Let’s tell him the truth this time. Minhyun-hyung, you’ve been together for four years now. And,” Daniel’s eyes softened, and Minhyun swore there was hurt and longing in them. “You’ve always love him no matter how many times you forget.”

A sob was heard. “Stop it, Daniel. Please,” Jisung plead through tears.

Daniel cupped his face and wiped the tears off his face. “You’re such a cry-baby, hyung. I’m not sorry, okay. I still believe this is better than acting as a stranger. You love him, he loves you, so just be happy okay.”

Minhyun watched the gentleness in the big guy’s touch and words. His heart ached for the boy.

“I’m gonna leave now. Sort this out, please. You’re giving all of us headaches.” Daniel was at the door when he turned to them again. “That night was your fourth anniversay, by the way,” and then he was gone.

“So, boyfriend, huh?” Minhyun said after a while. He broke the silence first since Jisung wouldn’t be able to.

“You believe him?” Jisung asked reluctantly, thinking he wouldn’t believe everything.

“We’re together for four years now, and I’ve always love you no matter how many times I forget? I love you and you love me?” he reached for Jisungs hand, caressing it soflty, then intertwining their fingers. He looked straight at his eyes. “Yes, they sound perfect.”

  
7th of May

“Minhyun, stop, you’re tickling my face,” Jisung whinned as Minhyun showered his face with kisses. His next protests were cut off with a deep kiss on his lips.

“Aren’t you tired and sleepy yet?” he asked softly as his eyes roamed his lover’s face. He sighed contentedly when he smiled at him.

“I’m younger, I definitely have more stamina.”

He slapped his shoulders which earned a laugh from the younger.”Ya, don’t make fun of my age!” He smirked mischieviously.

“I’m still up for another round, you know.” He ran his fingers teasingly over Minhyun’s bare chest down to his abdomen, and maybe even lower.

He didn’t miss the predator’s eyes on Minhyun as he held his hand travelling down his body. He pinned him on the bed, his face hovering dangerously close to his.

“You think you can really keep up with me?” Minhyun’s voice dropped, and it sent shivers down Jisung’s spine.

“Wanna bet on that?” he wrapped his arms around Minhyun’s neck and the next thing he knew, he was sending him to seventh heaven.

“I love you, hyung,” Minhyung whispered lovingly after the bliss.

He parted his wet fringes. “I love you, too, Minhyun.”

“Will I see you when I wake up tomorrow?”

Jisung just locked his eyes with Minhyun. He couldn’t miss the hope in those shining eyes. Instead of answering, he pulled him close and kissed him senseless, hoping it would remind Minhyun of his love that he couldn’t say the next morning.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to clarify that the Alzheimer's disease and Retrogade amnesia cross to someho explain minhyun's condition may or may not be possible in real life. 
> 
> Thank you for waiting. :)


	3. May

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minhyun had been cowardly gawking at Jisung, and Sungwoon tried to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helllloooooo, it's been soooooo looooooonnggg. I am so sorry for this very very VERY late update. Been busy with finding work, and finally finding work, congrats to me! I'll try to update again soon within the month so that I'll be able to go back to my proper timeline for this. 
> 
> Thank you for waiting, guys. I hope you didn't drop this yet.

15th of May

Minhyun had been frequenting this certain bookshop for a week. And to say the visits were because of the books was an outright lie---no, if he would be honest, he wasn’t there for just the books. It might have involved a certain lean, quite petite, shining eyes, and sporting a violet hair guy who worked in that bookshop. And _thank God_ for nametags, he was able to catch the beautiful--- _yeah, beautiful_ \---guy’s name, Yoon Jisung. And thanks to his sister, as well, for dragging him in that blessed place exactly a week ago.

 

A week, but he hadn’t mustered the courage to talk with Jisung. A week of just contenting himself hidden between the shelves, pretending to browse some books, and some other times taking a seat in one of the reading corners, a book standing open in front of him, his eyes peeking over to gawk at the man. Sneaky? Yes, he didn’t know he had it in him to be sneaky---borderline stalking. Well, there were a lot of things he didn’t know anyway. But he wanted to know more about this Yoon Jisung. Like his favorite things, or his not-favorite things, if they could be friends, if he could walk him home, then maybe more than friends--- _wait, scratch that_ \---he could have a boyfriend already. If there was one other thing that he confidently knew about Jisung aside from his name, and his friends with the other worker, named Sungwoon, was that there was this guy, sporting a blond hair, broad shoulders, a mole under his right eye, and they were very, very, _very_ close. The guy had been fetching Jisung for a week as well, and Minhyun didn’t have to bet that he had been doing that far longer than a week.

 

As if on cue, said broad-shoulder guy entered the bookshop, smiling brighter than the street lights ouside, eyes sparkling upon walking towards Jisung. Jisung, on the other hand, was also sporting the same bright smile and sparkling eyes, pinching the blonde’s cheeks in adoration.

 

“Aw, hyung,” the blonde whined, but the still visible sparkle in his eyes showed he very much liked the adoration.

 

“Oh, so you’re going to the party together? Tsk, I should have seen it coming. Of course, Daniel would take you with him,” Sunwoon said.

 

“We can wait for you, Sungwoonie,” Jisung offered.

 

“Nah, I don’t want to be your third wheel. You go ahead, I’ll follow after I close the shop.”

 

Minhyun just silently watched the exchange as if he wasn’t there. His eyes were trailing the pair as they walked towards the door. But before Jisung stepped out, he looked at his direction, their eyes meeting each other. He couldn’t take away his eyes so they just looked at each other for a while before Jisung slowly smiled at him, his eyes becoming arched slits. His heart could have leaped out of his chest at that moment. But before he could smile back, the blonde guy was tugging him away, and all Minhyun could do was to hopelessly watch at their disappearing figures, their clasped hands were the last thing on his mind.

 

He sighed, and closed the book that he wasn’t even reading. He stood up and returned the book to its shelf.

 

“Done pretending to read for the day, huh?”

Sungwoon was leaning on the shelf. He was too absorbed in his own thoughts---read: thoughts of Jisung---he didn’t notice the incoming presence of Sungwoon.

 

His cheeks started to color upon Sungwoon’s exposure of his pretense.

 

“Uhm---”

 

The small man chuckled. It was not of mockery, but of amusement. “Don’t worry, I won’t judge you. You could talk to Jisung-hyung, you know. He doesn’t bite.”

 

Minhyun’s face was turning even redder. Was he that obvious?

 

“You like him,” Sungwoon continued, matter-of-factly. “You should ask him out tomorrow.”

 

Minhyun was taken aback. Was he selling his friend to him? What about that broad-shoulder guy? Weren’t they already together?

 

“Will it be alright? Won’t he think I’m…”

 

“That you’re a creep?” Sungwoon cocked his head to the left. “He’s been waiting for you to talk to him, trust me. You’re his type.”

 

Minhyun just stared at the small guy. He couldn’t trust himself to say anything else at that moment.

 

“Surprised?” the small guy chuckled. “Well, since you saw Jisung-hyung already left, you don’t have business tonight. I’m closing a little bit early. One of our friends is treating for his birthday.”

 

Sungwoon turned back at him and walked back at the counter. Minhyun followed behind him.

 

“Oh, by the way,” Minhyun almost had a heart attack when he turned to face him again. “Please do talk to him tomorrow, and drop the pretense. The books don’t deserve to be disrespected like that okay? That’s all. Have a good night.”

 

Minhyun thought that night was a little weird. He still couldn’t believe the conversation he had with Sungwoon, but it certainly made him smile, and expectant about the next day.

 

16th of May

“You need help with anything, Sir?”

 

Minhyun was a little surprised when somebody talked beside him. He looked at Jisung and his panic escalated. He’d been mustering the courage to actually approach him without his nerves getting in the way, but he was still just trying to kill his stupid nerves. And now, the cause of his predicament was beside him, looking worried, and still beautiful. And he was about to hyperventilate.

“Can’t find a book to read next? I can suggest you some,” Jisung, with his angelic smile, offered.

 

“Uhm…”

 

“You like poetry, right? I’ve noticed you’ve been reading poetry books everytime you go here. We don’t have any new arrival for this week, but there are some golden classical poetry here that you might not have read before…”

 

Minhyun just watched Jisung checked on the shelf for the said classical poetry books but he didn’t really care. If Jisung was a book, he would love to read nothing but him.

 

“Are you free tonight?”

 

Jisung stopped checking on the books, and his blabber about poetry books. There, Minhyun finially said it. His heart wouldn’t stop beating wildly now as he waited for Jisung’s reaction. So far, all he got was a raised brow.

 

“Ahhh, well, I’m not really sure if this is alright. I mean, you might have been seeing someone already. But you’re friend told me I could ask you out and that I am your type of guy, and---”

 

“What?”

 

Minhyun stopped his blabbering. “What?” _Did I blabber too much? Fucking nerves._

 

“What did _my friend_ told you?” There was a little bit of panic in Jisung’s face at the moment.

 

“Ughhhh, I should try to ask you out?” Minhyun said tentatively because he wasn’t sure either.

 

“No, the other one.”

 

“I’m your type of guy?”

 

“Oh my God! Sungwoon, really!”

 

Minhyun flinched at Jisung’s raised voice.

 

“He really told you that?!”

 

Minhyun felt like being scolded. Like anything he would say could be use against him so he just nodded slightly.

 

“That small bean, really, I’m gonna kill him!” Jisung turned around and started walking his way towards his friend manning the counter but Minhyun held his arm.

 

“Wait, uhm… Look, I’m sorry? He was just trying to help me. I mean, if you haven’t noticed, I’ve been pining for you for a week. Creepy, I know, I don’t mean any harm, trust me. I just really want to talk to you. Introduce myself, but I couldn’t get the courage. So, please, don’t kill your friend.”

 

He gave Jisung a tentative smile and let go of his arm.

 

“You know I’m not really gonna kill my friend, right?”

 

“I… Know…” Minhyun couldn’t look at him. He’d been embarassing himself enough. He never thought this would be how his first conversation with him.

 

“And you know my answer is yes, right?”

 

“Yes---wait, what?” He looked up at Jisung’s face again. There was a playful smirk on his lips.

 

“I’m very much free tonight. If that answers your question.”

 

“Really? Oh my God. Uhm, so can you have dinner with me tonight? Or maybe watch a movie? Or anything you like!” Minhyun knew he sounded like an overexcited kid. But he didn’t actually care. This was the chace.

 

“Anything I like? Sure, sounds promising. Pick me up at eight. And please stop pretending you’re really interested in our books, when you’re actually interested in… Some _thing_ else.”

 

“Y-you know about that?” Minhyun scratched the back of his neck and looked away from Jisung.

 

“I just noticed yesterday. You were holding the book upside down.”

 

Realization of his stupidety kicked in. “Ow, shit.”

 

Jisung chuckeled. “Yeah, shit. So, see you tonight?”

 

“Yeah, see you tonight.”

 

 

30th of May

“Hey, are you okay?” Minhyun sighed when he heard Jisung’s answer. He was driving the older home after having dinner with Jisung’s friends. It was still pretty early to go home but Jisung insisted to go home early, which surprised Minhyun, because he knew how much the older loved spending time with his friends. But if he could be honest, he was also a little relieved. He didn’t really feel like he was with them a while ago. It seemed like his friends were ignoring his existence.

 

He’d met Jisung’s friends, aside from Sungwoon, and Daniel---the blonde guy---two days after their first date. And he had been feeling that they didn’t really like him for Jisung. Their doubtful and judging eyes were always assuring him that everytime the older brought him to his friends’ gathering.

 

“Are you still thinking that my friends don’t like you?”

 

Minhyun glanced at Jisung. Concern was painting his face. He wanted to tell him no, but he knew that he would be lying so he just sighed again and looked ahead. He felt the older’s light touch on his arm.

 

“They’ll come around, Minhyun-ah. They’re just being overprotective and jealous. They all want my undivided attention. I’m that best-selling, you know,” Jisung winked at him, playful smile on his lips.

 

Minhyun chuckled. He was greatful for his attempt of lifting the mood. He held the older’s hand tightly, brought it to his lips to kiss, and never let go.

 

“I love you so much, hyung. I won’t back down. I’m gonna hold onto you. They can have your attention, but your heart is mine,” he solemly declared, tightening his hold on the older’s hand. He felt him squeezing his hand too in assurance.

 

“I know, Minhyunie. You’ve always held on. And I will hold on too. I love you,” was Jisung’s response. Every word heavy with an underlying meaning into them.

 

Minhyun wanted to kiss Jisung right then and there, if only he wasn’t driving. His heart felt like bursting with so much love for the man beside him. He must have only known him for barely a month, but he swore he felt like he’d been loving Jisung for far more than a month. He was whipped, and his heart agreed.

 

He poured all the love he was feeling for the older in the deepest, longest, most satisfying goodnight kiss he would ever have in his life.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please do leave comments!!!!!! love lots!!!

**Author's Note:**

> I am in no way meaning negative about Lang Leave. I have yet to read her books, but I know she's the real deal. That was just a passing observation. I apologize if I would offend anyone. I want to read her books too.
> 
> Sammantha Cullenson and her poetry book is completely fictional.
> 
> Leave curses---i mean, comments here, thank you!!!!!!
> 
> You can reach me in cc: fallinaugust


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